The key to beginning to improve your marriage is to improve your communication. If you’re willing to work on better communicating with your partner, and they’re resistant, there are a few things you can do to get them to open up.

First of all, pay attention to the way that you talk about your marriage. Be sure to avoid words that will leave your partner feeling accused. Instead of saying, “I feel like you don’t listen to me,” simply change your words to say something like, “I wish that we could both communicate more openly and feel that we were listening to one another.” This shifts the blame from them to your own hopes and dreams for your marriage. Once you identify issues within your marriage, you can work on them together, without either one of you feeling that you’re being singled out.

One of the best ways to get your partner to open up is to start by getting their perspective. If you begin by sharing with them the issues you have with your marriage intimacy, they’re likely to immediately be on the defense. On the other hand, when you open the conversation by acknowledging that there are problems on both sides, and letting them know that you’re interested in finding out what their own issues are, they’re much more likely to respond in a positive way.

You should also work to keep it positive. This doesn’t mean you need to sugar coat anything, or avoid talking about some of the deeper issues you might be having. It simply means that you want to focus on solutions and the future, rather than simply harping on the problems and the past.

For example, let’s say you were frustrated by the fact that your spouse won’t do the grocery shopping with you. You might think to say something like, “I hate it when you refuse to go to the grocery store with me.” This type of negative statement is likely to get a rise out of your partner – and not in the way you’d like. By simply adjusting your statement to a positive one, such as, “I would love it if we could do the grocery shopping together, and I’d like to find out what prevents you from wanting to go ” you can find common ground and communicate in a way that focuses on positive future results, as opposed to negative feelings about the past.

Finding ways to improve your marriage intimacy isn’t always easy, but it is definitely possible. Even when you’re faced with a partner who seems unwilling to open the lines of communication, there are ways you can transform the situation into one where they feel as valued and respected as you’d like to be. Once your partner sees you making an effort they’ll be much more likely to make an effort themselves.

To find other ways that will help deepen your marriage intimacy and to discover additional communication and relationship enhancing tools, tips, and strategies, visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or stop by our website at: www.FocusedAttention.com